Sunday, December 12, 2010

Maybe I'm bipolar.

I am a thinker. This fact has been brought to my attention quite a bit, these last couple of days. I really wish that I could turn off this thinking bit, sometimes.
No, no. I do not want to be stupid. I hate stupid people. (haha) But I am exhausting myself trying to understand MYSELF and anyone else I happen to encounter, which is ridiculous, since I've been hiding all day trying to study. 

It's finals week. I hate studying. I hate school. 
I sound very ignorant. 
(Disclaimer: I am very grateful for my education. I actually like most of my classes. I despise using this many simple sentences.)
Anyway, I want to just "be." I want to sit on my couch and just study for the classes I need, instead of coming up with forty frillion other things to do. 
Here are things that I have done instead of studying today:
- I ate terrible sherbet. Do not buy Dillon's brand of sherbet.
- I used the last of my toilet paper. To go to Walmart, or to use paper towels from here on out is the pregunta.
- I took a shower. I never shower at night anymore.
- I talked to myself in the shower.
- I decided that maybe I should actually look for a therapist.
- I read about fifteen blogs/blog posts.
- I am currently writing a very pointless blog.

Why do I do this to myself? 

This has been a terrible semester. Can I just put that out there? 
I am more than ready to take these finals and bid this awful season farewell. 
(Disclaimer number two: I have great friends, great family, great living situation, great opportunities, great job... I know that.)

I am very emotional today, for some reason.

I'm really going to miss Elena and Cameron when they leave next week. It's going to be incredibly difficult to say goodbye to them. 
Anthony is my only "bestie" (haha) left in Springfield!! Whatever shall I do?!

I have this desperate need to be understood.
Maybe I'm writing blog posts as an outlet for understanding?

Okay, well, anyway, I have an inkling that after I post this blog entry I may or may not delete it. I hate it when I ramble. I have no defined purpose in writing this particular post. 

To sum it up, I am sad. I am tired. I am distracted.

"I need a release; the signal's a cough."

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