Sunday, January 9, 2011

Awake my soul: you were made to meet your maker.

You did not think when you sent me to the brink, the brink
You desired my attention but denied my affections, affections
But tell me now where was my fault, in loving you with my whole heart.

- Mumford & Sons, "White Blank Page"

Last night sucked. Let's just say that. 

But, I did spend time with a few good friends, and that was nice; plus, I found a dart in the dryer from our nerf war last night. It was a fun discovery.

Anyway, I left early and was just shaking with frustration and anger over the "it" I keep referring to of last semester. I've been quite okay, these last few months, but every couple of weeks, or so, I just get mad and hurt all over again. Last night was one of those times. 

So... I went home, lit a candle, called Elena, talked to Carolyn, listened to good music and painted.
Now, I'm not a good artist/painter/creator/whatever, but I just got my paints out and started doing... something, and it turned into this:

This is how it works
You're young until you're not
You love until you don't
You try until you can't
You laugh until you cry
You cry until you laugh
And everyone must breathe
Until their dying breath

No, this is how it works
You peer inside yourself
You take the things you like
And try to love the things you took
And then you take that love you made
And stick it into some
Someone else's heart
Pumping someone else's blood
And walking arm in arm
You hope it don't get harmed
But even if it does
You'll just do it all again
- Regina Spektor, "On the Radio"

That's about all I can say.



Lillian said...

I'm sorry that "it" keeps rearing up on you. I hope you can get it worked out so that it doesn't keep giving you so much pain.

I love your picture. The colors, the tree, so much expression in such a singular moment.

Lizard said...

Thank you! I do love reading your comments. You are quite an encourager!

Lillian said...

Liz thank you for saying that. I try. I want to be genuine with that encouragement. I'm glad you like reading my comments. Keep painting you have quite the eye!

Lizard said...

:) Thanks!!

kenzie said...

gah, i love that song. mumford and sons. regina too. ha.

Lizard said...

Hehe, me too :)