Wednesday, January 19, 2011


Okay, I'm sure everyone knows "the elevator." Usually, we could have taken the stairs... but we chose the elevator for whatever reason.
Anyway, when I get on elevators, I'm consistently uncomfortable-- even if I'm by myself. Maybe it's just me, but I doubt it. There's a selection of floors, and I pick the number that will get me to where I need to go. And then I just stand there. Other people get on and get off, but we all just have to stand there. Nobody really talks.. and I usually avoid eye contact.

I get super, super impatient, and it seems like forever until I get to my floor, even it's just a few seconds, really.

I've been reading a few blogs on weight loss, proposals and babies.

I'm on a 1200 calorie diet and I'm trying to exercise at least three times a week. I'm doing this to lose weight, mainly, but also to keep a fairly high energy level, since this semester is going to be difficult. Plus, healthy eating is a good habit, anyway. This has been rather difficult, because I'm on the go, all of the time; however, I've lost weight and people have noticed. That is exciting! I was annoyed for a bit when I figured that at the most, I've probably only lost three to four pounds. But then my friend Pam told me that whenever I get discouraged about how "little" weight I've lost, to go to my freezer and pull out a pound of hamburger meat. I instantly felt proud of my "little" accomplishments.
When it comes to losing weight/dieting/exercising, it seems like forever before there's a notable difference.

Now, as far as the proposals go... I was sitting on my couch reading several posts on love, relationships, babies, pregnancies, blah, blah, blah. I started getting envious and irritated and annoyed. Why? Because I want all of that! I don't want a baby now. I'm not even anxious for that, in the slightest. However, I do want a real relationship. You know, the kind that puts a ring on your finger and pops out babies when the time is right. I've obviously never had that. I thought I did, twice. Both people turned out to be... less than ideal. Let's just say that. I haven't given up on it, or anything, but reading about other people's happiness in this area is sometimes difficult when I am very aware of my relationship status. But, I'm not wanting a status change, simply for the change. I want it at the right time, with the right person. (I suppose everybody does.)

So anyway, my stomach was getting angry and my teeth were grinding, a bit. And suddenly I thought about an elevator. You know, the waiting stuff. And how awkward waiting can be, sometimes. (I realize that this idea is probably not original, but it's the best I could do.)

I'm impatient.


I'm impatient.

So, from here on out, I'm going to try and be patient. This is going to be difficult. And, bonus, I'm going to try and be content with where my life is going. This is also going to be difficult. As an introspective, deep-thinking, analyzer, things are processed. (Sometimes until the initial thought is unable to be recognized.)

That's about it. Cheers.


Laura said...


I totally relate. With the struggle to lose weight, and with the impatience that doesn't make sense. (but is definitely there, nevertheless.)

You've gotta figure this stuff will be put into much better perspective in ten years' time, eh?

In the meantime: strength & honor.

Lizard said...

You should blog. Seriously. I'd read it. Haha :)
Thanks for the comment! And I miss you.

kenzie said...

i hate elevators too. i usually whistle or hum to lighten the mood a little. but then people stare and its awkward. ha.
i'm currently on weight watchers, even though i have yet to blog about it. thats weird. i should do that. its going well! ive lost 12 lbs so far. but its a sloooow steady battle, my friend. i'm here if you ever want to talk!

Lauren said...

I am so freakin impatient! Also lazy. It's a bad combination. I don't even care about losing weight–I just want to be healthier. I want to be able to get to my classes in a hurry without feeling winded.

And as far as the relationship goes–you'll get there. It sounds cliche, but I guess try to enjoy what you have now and not wait for "the future" to come.

la petite lydia said...

I am terrified of elevators. To the point I'd rather walk 90 flights of stairs instead of taking the elevator.

And when it comes to relationships, it will probably happen suddenly. But you'll know. Trust me..

Delirium said...

Hi there!

Umm... yes. I can definitely relate when it comes to reading about others relationships and happiness. I am a single mother, and Asia's dad was... well, I won't explain. But, I know. It's extremely difficult to read about all these 'fairytale' romances that everyone seems to have going on when you're alone. It's like WHERE DO YOU FIND THESE GUYS?! Because I have never dated a guy who treated me nicely, and the last one didn't respect women in the slightest. I would love to find a guy who even just felt like opening the car door for me.

Anyways, cute couples make me sick. But just because I'm envious. :) So we can be envious together.

Thanks for all your commenting and for following my blog! I'm glad you did because I found yours and seem to relate to you a lot. :)

Delirium said...

Also, on the elevator thing, I think it is sooooooooooo awkward when there are a lot of people in there! It's not so much I'm afraid (though deep down I'm scared it will break down and I'll be stuck in there.. I'm somewhat claustrophobic) but I just feel so uncomfortable around all the people. It's almost funny at the same time, though.

Liz said...

Yay! I'm not the only one!!
Thanks for the comments, all!