Thursday, February 24, 2011

Word Vomit

To quote my friend, Smeather Freelman:
I'm waiting for a new blog post. 
We are having withdrawals. ;) 
We are all wondering what is going on in that lil mind of yours. 
Well.... I kind of know. . . but I prefer to read your ramblings anyway.
Ok...I'm done.

Yes. It's been a while. I'm back!This last week has been a whirlwind. 
It was a good whirlwind, up until Tuesday. (That warrants a separate post, given that it's a very happy one!)
Now it's a sad, downward spiral. (That will also be a post for another time. There's too much weight on my heart today to actually put it into words. I need some time for that.)

"Do you feel the weight of the world singing sorrow, or to you is it just not real?
'Cause you got your own things, yeah, we all have our things I guess."

That's life, though. 
Our perceptions of everything are completely relative. I am learning, more and more, how change is definable; however, the definition is ever-changing, depending on whether you are looking forward or looking back. 

"Hearts need a beat, like awake needs asleep,
like a pen needs a page. To learn right, you need a mistake. Hearts need a mind, like a clock needs the time. Like white needs black, if you leave I hope you need to come back."

My biggest issue, lately, will be blogged about at a later time. But here's a hint, since I'm sure you're dying to know (ha ha)what's been on my mind:
"But keep on preaching, preaching and heal the world-- lip service makes us look great."

But you know what, everyone is so very similar; it is unreal. 
Some days we all just feel unsettled. You know, like your soul is out of sync with something.

"I wanna feel everything, when everything feels wrong with me. Take a look and brace myself; everybody wants to make it count."

And finally, back to love. As a Christian, my main focus is love. I am learning to love myself and others. Loving myself has needed the most work. But I am finding that I can love people better when I value myself.
On that note, chew on this:

"Everybody's hurting.
Everybody knows it.
Are you trying to stop it?
Everyone's watching.
What are you gonna do?

Are you trying to stop it? Everyone's watching.
Everyone is conversing. Everyone's listening.
Oh, yeah they were a part.
He was a part and she was a part of it
Oh, falling apart, is anyone watching?
Is anyone listening? Are we listening?

And all I have is all of me.
And it's all that I can give.
Our disappointed hearts will heal.
Our hearts will spill
Over you, over me, over this."

I know that this blog has been full of lyrics, but sometimes I communicate via the words of other people. That's why I like blogging so much. I like to hear other people. And sometimes things are worth repeating. (If you've liked the quotes, check out The Rocket Summer. I am personally not a fan of his voice, but his words are powerful.)

Also, I have been horrible at keeping up with my blog list, lately, so I promise that I will be back to the "world," soon.

"They told me that my past was not something God wanted to amputate. He wanted to cast a new light on it so that my life would have new meaning. He wanted to restore it so that it would become useful to him and to others. If I tried to deny that shadow in my life, the truth of it would be useful to no one. When God's people were rescued from great suffering, he commanded them to remember it. He asked them to make altars and feast days and memorials so that they would not forget-- not only their rescue, but what they were rescued from. And who rescued them."


On a completely different note, I need some help.
I am getting my third tattoo on Saturday. It is going to have something to do with my grandma. She passed away when I was sixteen; she lived with my family for eleven years. She is the main reason that I love the elderly. My "line of work" is, in a way, a sort of "thank you" to her. 
I'm thinking about getting her full name, her initials, or her nickname (Ginny) somewhere on my body. I also have a letter from her that she signed. I could get that blown up a little bit and they could tattoo her "signature." Is that creepy? What should I do?! 
And where should I put it?! I don't want it to be incredibly obvious, since I don't know what my future jobs are going to look like. I also don't want it in a place where I'm going to be stretching. (haha)
Here are my current tattoos:

And also, I have the chance to buy tickets to see Interpol in again in Kansas City in April, Of Montreal in Kansas in May, Explosions in the Sky in Columbia in April, U2 in St. Louis in July, and Ra Ra Riot in Columbia in March. 

Which do I pick?!?! And who is going with me?!


Alright, people. You asked for a blog post, and now you've got one. You better have read it. ;)



Heather said...


I was in much need of your word vomit. Esp since i've had so much thought vomit ;)

I really like the "hearts need a beat..." lyrics.

They seem to line up with the way my brain works.. Once again "chaos theory" stuff.
(CLARIFICATION)*Although I believe in God's control over all...we are very interdependent... and our future, present and past are all codependant.

But anyway... you are very scattered. Even more than usual. I am praying things smooth out and I am glad you are a part of my life... Keep the blogs coming... but make sure to avoid person attacks or things you will regret. Remember to focus on love and understanding. The world is not won over by hatred and haste, but by a slow process of love and teaching.

You're cool.

Miss Wendy said...

Yay you're back!

I like the idea of your Grandma's signature, I don't think it's creepy at all. I just have no idea where you might put it.....

I hope things start getting better for you, I can't wait to read your good day and bad day blogs.

Gwiddle said...

I am sorry for the crap part of your week! I am SO jealous you get to go to Interpol AGAIN! AND Of Montreal AND Explosions in the Sky. Lucky you!
I love your tattoos, what does the one on your foot say/mean? I think it would be cool to have your grandmother's signature right below your colar bone. I don't have any tattoos, I realllllllly want one. But I need it to be hidden. My family would murder me if they found out I had one. haha

sister said...

You should get her signature, it's a really good idea. I'm hopefully getting my first tattoo soon. I really like yours though.
You should go see Of Montreal or Ra Ra Riot. I saw Ra Ra Riot in Austin probably a year and a half ago, and they were AMAZING! So go! They also came out with a new CD recently, so it would be a good show. :) I love Of Montreal though. I have never seen them live, but I'm sure they would be awesome!
Do you listen to Arcade Fire? If you don't, I would recommend the song "Mountains Beyond Mountains".
You should also go listen to the song "Mr. Blue Sky" by Electric Light Orchestra. Another song is "Sing Along" by the Blue Man Group. Also "With or Without You" by U2.
I have been really getting into music lately, and I think you would like all of those songs. You should also listen to anything by The Killers, because they are one of my favorites. Okay, I think that's all I need to say. Love you.

Janna Lynn said...

Put it near your'd be hidden and a super cute homage to your nana. I don't think its creepy at all. I think its powerful to put things like that on you. Hearts, Janna Lynn

la petite lydia said...

I love your rambling posts. They're the best.

I am getting my tattoo on Saturday too! It is my first tattoo though. I am super excited, yet terribly nervous! I am definitely an over-thinker.

I agree with Janna Lynn, by your heart. I really like tattoos that are right underneath the collarbone and I think that would be a good place for it. In my opinion.

Mandy said...

I love the signature idea. And your current tattoos are so lovely!

As far as placement goes, there's always your wrist. It's easy to hide things there with a watch or a bracelet. :)

Gale said...

oh awesome! i always loved that placement on the back. your ink is lovely:) i wish i lived in springfield and could go with you for this third one too. your idea for it is so sweet. goodluck and have fun!

can't wait to see photos!

Sarah said...

Forearm in script! Wish I was getting a new tattoo today!