And that's what we have in common: heartbreak.
"Someone got their heart broken by someone else. And now they are singing about it. And we can all relate. Even if the music gives us a rash. Why is this? And why is it that it's not just about lovers, it's about parents and their children, friends who have been hurt by friends, business partners who part ways. Why is heartbreak so universal?"
- Rob Bell
Letting people "in" to who we are is a risk. That's why relationships are so scary. (At least that's why I think they are.) But really, friendship is a risk, especially if you plan on being authentic with your friends. As we become closer to people, things are revealed. Often times, when questionable traits are brought to light, we give up on the person. Why do we do this? No one is without fault. That's what makes people so interesting. The uniqueness factor, the similarities...
"Your friend is the man who knows all about you and still likes you."
- Elbert Hubbard
So let's talk about duplicity. There's a difference between "giving up" when the going gets tough and letting go of poisonous relationships. Trust me; I've had my fair share of said poison. The worst part of these kinds of experiences is when you don't realize that the poison even exists until it has taken over your body. Sucking this poison from every extremity is a painstaking and daunting task, at best.
I don't know your thoughts these days
We're strangers in an empty space
I don't understand your heart
It's easier to be apart
We might as well be strangers in another town
We might as well be living in another time
We might as well, we might as well
We might as well be strangers, be strangers
To counter this depressing reality, I'd like to talk about the wonder of genuine people. As I've said many, many times, being who we are created to be is the most important thing to be. To be anybody other than yourself is a tragic compromise. When we find people that compliment, refine and encourage who we are by being who they were created to be is an exhilarating find. Those are your friends, people!
Friends encourage you, support you and love you. Friendship does not always involve rainbows and butterflies prancing around unicorn-shaped clouds. I mean come on, let's be real here. There is going to be irritation, misunderstandings and difficult times that will test those friendships.
But isn't that life? Don't you want real life people in your life??
It's a risk. And I've been hurt by taking those risks; however, finding those people that I now call my friends has made all of the failed relationships pale in comparison.
I have more thoughts on forgiveness and reconciliation, but that's a blog for another time.