Monday, May 23, 2011

I can be morbid

As most of you probably know, there was a tornado that touched down in Joplin, MO last night. So far, there are 89 people dead and they are expecting a lot more. Joplin is a little over an hour from Springfield (where I live) and there was a fairly high chance that the tornado would be coming down the freeway toward the area where I live.

So what was I doing last night while this was going on? I was planting cacti in mugs and French marigolds in a teapot.





(Credit: I got the teapot idea from my friend, Seth, and I got the crate idea from a friend, Ryan. Anthony suggested using mugs, and I decided to use starkly different ones. I stole their really cool ideas.)

Anyway, talk about frivolity. While people are dying, I'm planting flowers. I didn't even realize that there was anything going on until my mom called me multiple times wanting to make sure that I was okay. After she called, I got a text from my aunt, several calls from my dad, and a call from my granddaddy. About the time that I started looking at the weather reports, Anthony and I decided to go to his house, since he has a basement.  We literally grabbed our stuff and opened the door and it started pouring. When we got to his house, the rain was still going crazy and the sky had turned green. It was super eerie.

The tornado obviously missed us, but reading about all of the damage done in Joplin while looking at a very green sky was rather unsettling for me. We did, however, get to see a gorgeous double rainbow.  These pictures were taken on my iPhone, but Amy got some beautiful photos that you should check out on her blog.























  







When something awful happens, I tend to obsess over it.  I don't think that people should dwell on things, but sometimes I do to the maximum degree.  Last night and this morning, I've been imaging what it would be like to have a tornado rip through my house, finding someone dead who I care about (or don't, for that matter), being whipped around by the winds, etc.... I'm not talking about casually empathizing with the people of Joplin; I'm talking about literally trying to imagine the feelings that I would have, seeing my things ruined, my home demolished...

This is not an uncommon thought/question, but why does crap like this happen? It really doesn't seem fair. I believe in God; I love God; why, God?

This is probably pretty weird, but I have something inside of me that is terrified of taking things for granted.  It scares me to think that I might miss the blessings that are given to me all of the time. It is for this reason that I tend to dwell on negative things a lot. This is most likely a pretty terrible thing, especially if I forget to pay attention to the blessings.

I've talked about balance before, and I guess I ought to talk about it again. (This blog is sometimes a way for me to try and make sense of things for myself.)  I know that it's okay to have those "it could have been me" moments, because it helps to put things in perspective; however, it is not healthy for me to let those thoughts consume me and prevent me from "living my life." (cliche/cliche/cliche)

But as I go throughout my day, I want to keep Joplin in my prayers. I am very blessed.

12 comments:

Kandice said...

oh my gosh! those little cactus plants look SO CUTE in mugs and teapots. seriously, i love 'em :)

Gale said...

Ahh that is intense Liz. My prayers are with Joplin. I take on the same perspective as you when tragic things like this hit close to home. I put myself in that place and imagine how it would be if it were me going through it. But yes, I also agree that it's the best time to count blessings and not take life and loved ones for granted like you said. It's the transition of thought sometimes that is difficult for me.

See, I tend to dwell too and obsess. And most recently I've been with the thought that...it can't get any easier with age and (this is a bit morbid too but) the older I get, the more I have chance of losing. So it'll just get worse? That scares me, but almost to the point that I'm realizing...those feelings won't help me. So note to self: Just live this blessed life. Make it all worth something and love.

amyschmamey said...

Your plants are beautiful. :)

Pretty much. This tornado has me freaking out. I used to get so excited if severe weather was forcasted. You always think you will be fine. You'll get out, but when that tornado hit Joplin people were shopping in Walmart... Walmart was destroyed... Where do you run from a tornado in a Walmart??? Walgreen was destroyed too! Not to mention this thing nearly blew apart a HUGE BIG hospital. I am officially freaked out!
I am on edge with these next batch of storms rolling through.

Amylou said...

a great reminder Liz! I think I too often let blessing pass me by too! And I agree with the "what if it was me" moments being a good thing.

Twells said...

It's interesting how lives can be tied together in such strange ways. I heard about the tornado in Joplin and it reminded me of the tornadoes that ripped through my own state, Alabama. I was also not completely touched - but enough to be affected. I'm sorry you were affected, distant blogger friend. I wish you luck and positive thoughts. You and yours are being prayed for by your southern comrades, who are all too familiar with weather like this lately. Have a great day, Lemon. :)

Lillian said...

I've been "obsessing" on it today too. Primarily because we have friends we can't reach, and friends there who have family they can't find. And that is just our little corner of the tragedy. It is breaking my heart.

Janette said...

Rainbow pics are awesome!! As is the plant in the tea kettle...Not awesome?? The tragic tornado...It's been such a bad season...Praying for your continued safety friend!

Janette, the Jongleur

Gwiddle said...

Oh my gosh I had no clue that you guys were so close to Joplin! I am so glad that all of you blogger buddies are safe! I can't even believe how scary that must be living so close to all of those storms! I love all of your plants in mugs though, awesome idea! I hope you have a great week<3

Jazzy E (hivenn) said...

<3 stunning. x hivenn

maggeygrace said...

Eeeek. This IS scary. I would have been obsessing like mad. Tornadoes are one of my biggest fears and it was so close to you. Argh. Tornado season. I'm so glad you're okay and I'm keeping Joplin in my prayers too:)

Robyn said...

These tornados are aweful. It is hard to justify doing mundane/fun/everyday things when there are bad things going on around you, but life does move on. No less a tragedy, but you shouldn't feel bad for living your life. God bless everyone.

ChinkyGirLMeL said...

Lately I've been thinking about all the disaster 2011 has brought. We are almost halfway through the year and so many awful things happened. I hate to admit it but sometimes bad things is a wake up call to remind us just how lucky we are. In times of great despair it is really nice to see people coming together as one to help each other. I may whine every now and then but at the end of the day I know in my heart that I truly am blessed. God is good and I know at the end of every storm there will always be a beautiful rainbow.