so youer than you

I love it when people can say that something is "so me." You know what I'm talking about? You see some gaudy piece of jewelry and you are automatically reminded of your sister-in-law. Or you see some classy, high-dollar piece of furniture that reminds you of your grandmother. People generally have distinctive tastes in things, and it's "so them."

People that are "so themselves" are easy to buy for.  I've been shopping recently, since I'm not going home for Christmas this year. I have to send everything home with my parents when they come to Springfield for Thanksgiving. Anyway, I've come across tons of things that are "so Anthony," "so mom," "so Heather," "so Amy," etc. I could buy hundreds of things for these people, because everywhere I go, things just "scream them."

I LOVE IT.

I love that people have different tastes in things, people, music... Some people want to blend, others want to stand out. It's fun that way.

The story of how I lost a friend

Okay, okay. You've been on the edge of your seats waiting for this post, I know. Well, here it is. I hope you enjoy it. 

So... if you've been keeping up with my blog, you have probably noticed that I talk about a very painful situation that happened about a year ago. This post pretty much sums up how I've felt about everything, ever since. (I don't mean to keep bringing it up.. I'm sure it gets old hearing about my ex.)

Anyway, you've also probably noticed another theme among my blog posts. ANTHONY.

This post from November is just one example of how good of friends he and I have been ever since I met him about a year ago.

As friends, we've had some incredible times together. We grew pretty close last summer, since we both had weekends off of work, unlike our other friends. It was only natural that we would hang out. One of my favorite memories is of the two of us going to St. Louis on a complete whim. We were eating at McAlister's and he mentioned that he had never been up in the arch. This was remedied, quickly. We literally got up from the restaurant and went to St. Louis. I wish I had the pictures from this, but they're on a camera that I don't own and don't have access to.

Another time we went to the art museum in Springfield. That's when I decided that I wanted to learn how to paint; however, it wasn't until Christian and I broke up that I actually acted on this.

I made Ant go with me to antique/thrift stores one time, and we actually had a blast. I lost all of my pictures that I had taken, so you get to enjoy a few that Antho took. Whoopee..

Lovely pictures, I know. But we had a great time. (at least I did..)

I bought Anthony tickets to see Interpol for Christmas, so in February, we went to St. Louis again. 

He is a scary driver. 

We had some time to kill, so we ate dinner at this awesome place. I don't know what it's called, but I want to go back.

I'm not a very good photographer, but I think that this picture is pretty priceless. We were waiting for the concert to start... we played Words With Friends and made fun of a lot of people that were sitting around us. We are so nice.

I couldn't get a good picture, but at the very least, here is some proof that we actually got to see Interpol live!

(YUCK! That picture quality is so horrible. I'm super tempted to not even put them up. But since I'm writing this... I guess I'll just keep it.)

Okay, so, at this point, I'm starting to become really good friends with Anthony's family. The Martins are awesome! I don't know his other sister very well, or his parents, but the time that I have spent with them has been really nice. I love being around all of them.

It was about that time that I wrote this post.

Yes, I know. I've been in denial for a long, long time. I'm in love with Anthony. Those are strong words, but when you care about a friend as deeply as I've cared about Anthony, I guess it's a natural progression. Given that he was there through my painful break-up and the healing afterwards, he saw the broken side of me and loved me anyway. I've always valued his friendship, but I finally admitted to myself a few weeks ago that I had stronger feelings for Ant than simply as friends. 

It turns out that he felt the same way. 

We've decided to give this new level of a relationship a go, so... wish us luck.  :)

We spent this last weekend with Amy, Dave and her kids in Ozark, and as usual, I had a blast. 

When I showed up to their house after work on Saturday, Anthony gave me this sweet ring. He had been at the mall doing whatever and came across it. Does he know me, or does he know me? I love it. 

On Sunday, I went with Antho and his family to Busiek State Forest. 

(I stole a couple of her pictures, but Amy's blog sums it up better than I could. SO, check it out!)

Alright, so everything was off to a great start.

And then I got the flu. :(

BUT LO AND BEHOLD, Anthony to the rescue. (notice another trend-- he is constantly doing something to make my life easier)

He drove all the way over to my house on his lunch break at work with Sprite and soup, and then after work he showed up again with another Sprite. (I don't know how much Sprite he expected me to ingest.)

I lost my thermometer, somehow, so he went and bought me another one, along with Theraflu. It worked wonders! 

He's an incredible person. I haven't been taken care of this well since I lived at home. (haha)

I am realizing more and more that God provides for us in every way. I never would have guessed that Christian and I would have broken up. I never could have imagined that a simple friendship like Anthony and I had could have developed into what we have now. It's humbling to realize what a role God plays in everything. The people that I consider my closest friends right now are as a result of knowing Ant. That's amazing to me. A year ago he was this random guy that likes video games, and now he's the guy that cares about me more than I can comprehend.

Whether this relationship ends in the way that everyone always hopes, or whether it does not, I'm okay with taking that chance. I figure that being who we were created to be is the greatest thing that we can be.  To be who we are and befriend those who are complimentary to who we should be is a beautiful thing. 

"We are all a little weird and life's a little weird, and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love."

- Dr. Seuss

So, there you have it. I am now down another friend. Oh, great.

Cheers :) :) :)

⁵ Your unfailing love, O Lord, is as vast as the heavens;

      your faithfulness reaches beyond the clouds.
    ⁶ Your righteousness is like the mighty mountains,
      your justice like the ocean depths.
   You care for people and animals alike, O Lord.
       ⁷ How precious is your unfailing love, O God!
   All humanity finds shelter
      in the shadow of your wings.
    ⁸ You feed them from the abundance of your own house,
      letting them drink from your river of delights.
    ⁹ For you are the fountain of life,
      the light by which we see.

Psalm 36: 5-9

Quixomicide, Zax and other thoughts

I have a tendency to let seemingly passing thoughts transform into quite mind-consuming obsessions. I think this is why I end up writing such long blog posts that appear to rambleRAMBLEramble. I apologize for that. I hope that you guys get something from my jumbled thoughts. 

The purpose in writing "thoughtful" posts is not to answer a specific question, or to claim to have a solution for anything; rather, I just like to (somewhat) organize my thoughts and leave a lot up for anyone's interpretation. So, if I get you to think, mission accomplished! Haha :)

"Sometimes the questions are complicated and the answers are simple."

- Dr. Seuss

Now, let the rambling begin!

So you know Don Quixote? I had to do a Spanish group project/video that portrayed a "story" of Don Quixote. If you don't know anything about this, here is the gist:

- wants to defend the helpless and destroy the wicked

- sometimes he can't distinguish reality from his delusions/imagination

- he is constantly trying to win over this girl, Dulcinea

- he usually ends up screwing up

In our story, Don Quixote and his side-kick, Sancho Panza, hear a girl scream. This girl is actually just crying, since she was being punished by her mom for ruining her garden. Don Quixote doesn't see this sequence of events; rather, he sees the mom looking more like the character from Pan's Labyrinth abusing her daughter. 

So, he kills the mom. The clip ends with his next obstacle: a cactus.

That pathetic description of Don Quixote at least does a decent job of explaining the video. I'd like you to meet skinny-ish Liz from junior year of high school. This is incredibly embarrassing.

I know-- embarrassing! I hope you at least laughed a little bit.

Anyway, I showed this YouTube video to Dave and Amy yesterday afternoon, and it sort of got me thinking about perception.

Everybody looks at things differently. 

A person's interpretation of something is based entirely upon predispositions, ways of thought/processing and previous experiences.  As unique beings, it is impossible to completely see eye-to-eye. I think that this is what makes relationships so interesting. 

For example you know when you get stuck behind a REALLY slow person driving? It is so irritating! But if I see that it's an elderly person driving, I just smile. It stops bothering me. 

In an instant, my mind goes directly to appreciating the fact that they are capable of driving at an old age, that they have at least some freedoms, that they are actually using those freedoms... and they also just look so cute! That kind of thinking is natural for me; it is not natural for most people.

When some other people see that it's an older person behind the wheel, they get even more frustrated and question why they are even on the road.  

My perceptions of the elderly have been shaped by my grandma who lived with my family and me and my work experience. See, it's unique.

"Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle." 

- Plato

Now, did you ever read Amelia Bedelia when you were a kid? I adored these books.

 It is scary how easy it is for things to get misconstrued. A person's interpretation of something is probably one of the most important things about that "something." Scary, huh? So if you say this and I hear that, we have a problem.

Now, the Amelia Bedelia books are highly exaggerated, but the point is made, humorously.

"Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than You."

- Dr. Seuss

"I’ll stay here, not budging! I can and I will

If it makes you and me and the whole world stand still!”

Well…

Of course the world didn’t stand still. The world grew.

In a couple of years, the new highway came through

And they built it right over those two stubborn Zax

And left them there, standing un-budged in their tracks.

"You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose. You're on your own. And you know what you know. And YOU are the one who'll decide where to go..."

- Dr. Seuss

"You'll get mixed up, of course, as you already know. You'll get mixed up with many strange birds as you go. So be sure when you step. Step with care and great tact and remember that Life's a Great Balancing Act. Just never forget to be dexterous and deft. And never mix up your right foot with your left."

- Dr. Seuss

We are all responsible for ourselves. It's a part of growing up. We are going to face adversity; we are going to be someone else's adversity. This is unfortunately inevitable. We are all so incredibly different. 

I guess what I am trying to say is that I hope that maybe we can all take a step back and try to simply understand each other. 

Finding a balance is difficult. I think we know this. Logic without emotion doesn't work, given that humans would not be humans without emotion. But emotion without logic is simply preposterous. It's the balance of the two that allow for the right decisions to be made.

"I love my cigar, too, but I take it out of my mouth once in a while."

- Groucho Marx

So, basically:

- We are who we are.

- It's okay for others to be who they are.

- Individuality is irreplaceable. Let's try not to get to a place where we must always be right. Being wrong is okay, sometimes.

- Children's books work for adults, too.

Thanks for reading. 

*** I am probably going to write another post tonight or tomorrow updating you all on some recent "happenings." This post (the one you're reading) has been stuck in my mind for so long that if I don't get it out, I'm going to explode. But I also have more to say about my "life," so stay tuned. (haha) 

*** Also, I have a lot of blog reading to do. It's hard for me to keep on top of the blogs I subscribe to during the week, but I promise that I will get back to commenting, later. I've got the flu right now, so it may take me a bit longer to respond than I had originally intended.

Cheers.