Valentine's Day FOR THE WIN

Today has been an incredible day. Not only am I single, but I am totally okay with that, especially when I get to spend the day celebrating with awesome people.

I was telling Anthony on the way home that I feel more like myself when I'm around these particular people. They may say that this is not necessarily a good thing, but hey- I like myself! (haha)

But seriously, I have had a wonderful day. I got up early (and it was a super gorgeous day) to deliver cupcakes. [success]

And tonight, I went with Anthony, Amy, Dave, Hannah and Nate to Belgian Waffle and Pancake House for dinner. I almost peed myself from laughing so hard. I love nights like that.

(Look at her dainty pinky! SO DAINTY.)

(Brendan and Lindsey are two of the cutest kids I have ever met.)

 (Secretly, he's my valentine.)

I am so thrilled to know these people. I'm not a very good photographer... and I didn't get ANY pictures of Anthony, Hannah or Nate, but oh well. Amy IS a good photographer and she got some good pictures, so check out her post, here.

_____________________

Since it is Valentine's Day, here are a couple of things I've been thinking about:

In a study involving a group of lovelorn Stanford undergrads, researchers discovered that high-octane romantic love might be a natural analgesic.

Love's painkilling effect isn't just that the person is distracted by thoughts of the loved one -- although that works, too. Instead, the researchers found that feeling "head-over-heels" activates the same dopamine-oriented centers of the brain that tune in to illicit drugs such as cocaine.

"These pain-relieving systems are linked to reward systems," said Dr. Sean Mackey, senior author of a paper appearing online Oct. 13 in PLoS One. "Love engages these deep brain systems that are involved with reward and craving and similar systems involved in addiction."

Check out the article!

Love: a benevolent intent focused toward the well-being of others, as affecting the heart's electromagnetic pattern

So what have we learned? 

1. Being single is perfectly fine.

2. Friends are awesome.

3. Laughter is actually good for you.

4. Anthony is awesome.

5. His family is also awesome.

6. Love is better than cocaine.

7. Love actually affects your physical heart. 

Cheers; I love you ALL!

:) :) :)

I've decided that I like myself pretty well.

So I'm learning more and more about myself all of the time.

And I'm happy to say that I like myself more and more. That's probably a good thing.

Anyway, I was taking a shower this morning and decided that my next goal is to be content. This ties in with my last couple of posts. I'm really going to try and give up my "worrying" habit. This is going to be insanely difficult, but I want to be from worry and anxiety. I've had panic attacks in the past revolving around a certain stress, and I'm not interested in keeping that around.

1. I finally blocked a jerk from my Facebook today. He wanted to be friends and I was doing my best, but I don't even like him. Why am I bothering? Well, I'm not anymore.

2. I've been on a dating site for the last couple of months. It was a nice confidence boost after being torn down from my previous relationship, but that's about it. I don't want it anymore. There are a few pending messages at the moment, but as soon as that's wrapped up, I'm out of there.
And yes, this was embarrassing to admit. I was on a dating site. Admitted.

I know that these are small steps, but they are steps forward, I think.

I'm okay with who I am. There are some things I'd like to change, of course, but overall, I like me. So, this is going to be a time of refining myself.

If a relationship develops, great. If not, I don't really care at this point.
If I stay in Missouri after graduation, fine. If I move to San Antonio, fine. If I move to Egypt, fine.
If I go straight to grad school, great. If I decide to take a break, great.

I'm okay with the way that things are. I have goals, dreams, etc., but for now, I'm okay with "me."

As I've been thinking about these things, some wonderful songs come to mind:
"It is well with my soul." (I couldn't find a version I liked well enough, but I'm sure you know the hymn.)
And of course, The Beatles.






On a lighter note, here's a quick list of frivolous things that I am not going to give up unless I have to:

• mulled cider candles. (A huge one from Walmart costs $5 and it smells amazing. It relaxes me and helps me to feel at peace.)
• hair dye (I feel awesome when I get my hair dyed. Even if it's a $3 box that I apply myself.)
• protein smoothies on Wednesdays (Wednesdays are really tough days for me. These smoothies are under 200 calories and take me twenty minutes to drink. Seriously, it makes my Wednesdays bearable.)
• Burt's Bees Chapstick (It's $3 a tube and I constantly lose them, but they make my lips feel awesome.)
• canvases (I'm not a good painter, but I do love to paint.)
• good toilet paper (I'll pay an extra buck for the extra cushion.)
• sherbet (No one understands how much I adore this delightful substance.)

Cheers.

Sex God and The Chaos Theory

Whoa- two posts in one day. I know, ridiculous. But I've got a lot on my mind. And since this is my blog, I am going to post what I want. I've read things on how to make your blog "successful," but honestly, my blog is successful because it's helping me. And all 33 followers make my day by reading what I post, whether or not it's "successful."

So this may be long-winded and it may not make a whole lot of sense to anyone, but it makes sense to me; and who knows, maybe it'll make sense to you.

...

I have picked several definitions from urban dictionary to define the chaos theory:

• The belief that everything that happens in the world around us is a random series of events, and that it is possible for the extremely unlikely to occur.
• A great excuse to lose a game -- some thing else somehow caused you to mess up, such as a butterfly flapping its wings too hard in Tokyo
• A cool way to call bull.
• theory that everything explains everything

Now let's watch a preview for the movie, The Chaos Theory. (one of my most favorite movies)





So. There are many, many things out of our control. 

...

I posted a (much) longer version of this when I first started this (public) blog, but this excerpt goes along with what I am trying to say.


People.
Love them, hate them, can't live without them.
Familiar phrase, interesting concept.
PEOPLE.
Individuals.
Moms, dads, sisters, brothers, sons, daughters, friends, cousins, nieces, nephews, grandsons, granddaughters, boyfriends, girlfriends, wives, husbands, students, teachers, professionals, amateurs..
Does anybody else think about this stuff? How random strings of events and circumstances and chance and luck and misfortune and strategy and accidents make PEOPLE??
The odds that you or I are actually here..
I went to THIS school in THIS state and met THIS guy/girl and at THIS time had a child.Two people making one person.
Two individuals making another individual.
Not just any individual, but THE individual.
The perfect combination of two PEOPLE from two different backgrounds, with two different stories.
And then the new PERSON who will meet another PERSON and make another PERSON.


It's chaotic, really!

...

Now let's talk about love.
[It is February, after all.]

The caption I put to this picture of my tattoo is always a quote from The Chaos Theory. 

"The most important thing about love is that we choose to give it, and we choose to receive it. Making it the least random act in the Universe. It transcends blood, it transcends betrayal and all the dirt that makes us human."

Agape: unconditional love

Love: Lust is the desire for their body; love is the desire for their soul.

[via urban dictionary] 

"​Agape​ doesn​'​t love someb​ody becau​se they'​re worth​y.​
Agape​ makes​ them worth​y by the stren​gth and power​ of its love.​
Agape​ doesn​'​t love someb​ody becau​se they'​re beaut​iful.​
Agape​ loves​ in such a way that makes​ them beaut​iful.​"

"​It'​s easy to take your cloth​es off and have sex. Peopl​e do it all the time.​ But openi​ng up your soul to someo​ne,​ letti​ng them into your spiri​t
and thoug​hts
and fears​
and futur​e
and hopes​
and dream​s.​.​.​
that is being​ naked​.​"


"​Angel​s and anima​ls.​
There​ are these​ two extre​mes,​ denyi​ng our sexua​lity or being​ drive​n by it, and then there's the vast space​ in betwe​en.​ An angel​ is a being​ with a spiri​t but witho​ut a body.​
When we deny the spiri​tual dimen​sion to our existence,​ we end up livin​g like anima​ls.​ And when we deny the physi​cal,​ sexua​l dimen​sion to our existence,​ we end up living like angel​s.​
And both ways are destr​uctiv​e,​ because God made us human​.​"


[excerpts from Sex God by Rob Bell]



Nowhere you can be that isn't where you're meant to be. It's easy. All you need is love.


So what have we learned? I don't have control. The world is chaotic and crazy. But love sorta surpasses that. And that's what I want.


Cheers.